On reading my book 'Advent'

I am reading my book 'Advent' for the 2nd time since published, trying to encourage me in my current writing, trying to prove that yes, I am able to get ideas down. I need this encouragement. I have mentioned to my comics illustrator friend R that it is more or less exactly what I wanted to write at that time, it was minimally edited, it followed my conceptual structure, that if you did not like it, well, it did not work for everyone. it received a 3.48 out of 5 rating for 31 ratings on Goodreads. of course I read some reviews, some people really liked it, someday not, some were confused. unsurprisingly, one reviewer felt I 'told' the story more than 'showed' it. no complaints there: Advent began as essay/meditation on idea of alien invasion of earth, inspired by book on European contact with Brazilian indigenes, except humans are cast as the technologically limited, socially destroyed indigenes, and only later did I fill it in with something of narrative. this narrative is built out of autobiographical aspects of stories of my father, mother, brother, girlfriends, self. I am most pleased with the section on my father, which has the most imagery, the most poetic ideals, but in between each section of 'real' there is 'reserve', something like reserves for humans like reservations for First Nations, and 'reset', which is about how human society adjusts to the aliens. as the story progresses, the story of the narrator-self emerges from the others and eventually self, and this is mostly my life. I know it might. be difficult to read in blocks of unbroken text and no punctuation but commas and full stop, but this is how I was inspired by Saramago, though nowhere near as witty...

I am trying to learn from what I have written, and primarily, without doubt, it is this wit that makes Saramago easy to read for me. I have read almost everything major novels by him. I want to write as much like him as ever I did early robbe-grillet, though they are radically opposite ways, might have nothing in common. I discover an important aspect is indeed 'showing', that is, describing the immediate terrain actual and psychological, but everything in my writings rebel against the idea there are simple analogs of metaphors for the ideas I would communicate. yet I need to 'show', not 'explain' or 'tell'. And some readers liked 'Advent'...

I do not know how I feel about the writing style, because as I look at current work, consider how much philosophy I read (653 out of 5 027 books...), I see I am still writing ideas more than purely imagery. For some reason the work must be philosophically coherent even though I am usually some way away from traditional 'mundane realism', which, as the are usually inspired by dreams, is no surprise. And 'style' is so important to me, it is not enough ideas or consequent images are interesting but I have to write them well. After publishing this book, both Aunt A and friend R have maintained I could then let go of it, that it is out of my hands, but I still want to 'learn' from process, somehow write images that are powerful and nothing more...

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